Before You Give Up

“Jesus told his disciples a parable about the necessity for them to pray always without becoming weary.”- Luke 18:1

When I read the phrase about not becoming weary, it felt like a slap in the face. It didn’t seem to acknowledge how hard it is to keep asking. In frustration, I yelled at God asking, “Why do you want us to keep asking you? It seems a little cruel.”

Jesus then begins the parable about a judge in a town who, “neither feared God nor respected any human being”. There was a widow in that town who kept pestering the judge to render a just decision for her against her adversary. Scripture says that after a long time he finally gave in because he was worried she was going to get fed up and smack him (verses 4-5).

The parable ends with Jesus saying, “Will not God then secure the rights of his chosen ones who call to him day and night? Will he be slow to answer them? I tell you, he will see to it that justice is done for them speedily. But when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?” (verse 8).

I would love to tell you when I read those lines all my worries disappeared and I serenely smiled at God, told Him I trusted Him, and continued on with my day.

That’s not what happened.

Instead, I got out my journal and began to write. But like an angry writing. Where I basically told God how frustrated I was that He wasn’t answering my current prayers. I asked Him if He was a good and loving God, why He didn’t give me what I was asking for?

Harsh.. I know.

But it was honest and it was real, and we’re in a relationship. He wants to hear my heart and my frustrations and help me understand the things I am wrestling to understand.

After many more minutes of fuming and combing through other scripture passages, the Holy Spirit led me to some truths.

Before I even ask God for something in prayer, what is my view of Him? Do I view Him as this cruel judge who is uninterested and wants to lord his power over me? Or do I view Him as He has been revealed through Scripture- as a loving and tender Father.

One of my favorite verses in Isaiah highlights this:

“But Zion said, ‘The Lord has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me.’

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!

See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands…” (chp. 49: 14-16)

I then prayed for more faith and asked Jesus to reveal the Father to me. To help me to see Him as He sees Him. To heal my false image of Him in my head and in my heart.

I then imagined myself in the Father’s lap, pouring out my frustrations, and asking Him for my specific intentions. I then started to ask him what I was doing wrong in this situation. What I needed to do better or what new approach I needed to take? I then realized I was asking the wrong questions.

I asked to feel His love for me and how he wanted me to pray about this situation. I was led to the Lord’s prayer.

“Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed by thy name.” The commentary in my bible says that ‘hallowed be thy name’, is “probably a petition that God hallow His own name, i.e. that he manifest His glory by an act of power” (New American Bible). It then references Ezekiel 36:23 where God speaks this in a powerful way!

In the process of my wrestling, in the process of my asking and being honest about my feelings, God lifted my weariness. He re-directed my prayer and shifted my focus from my problem to His glory.

I still don’t know how He will answer my prayer, but I know that He will act and will be glorified through His action.